The Paradox of Wanting Change

Understanding the Desire for Change

Change is part of being human. We all experience moments when we long for something to be different — to feel happier, calmer, more connected, or more fulfilled. We might dream of a new direction in life, healthier relationships, or a deeper sense of purpose.

But with that desire often comes a quiet contradiction: while we want change, we might resist the idea of changing ourselves. We may hope that life, other people, or circumstances will shift — and that we can simply feel better when they do. Yet real transformation often asks us to look inward first, and that can feel uncomfortable.

Exploring the Roots of Resistance

It’s not unusual to find change difficult. Our minds are wired for familiarity — for what’s known and predictable. Even when things aren’t working, the idea of doing something different can feel risky or unsettling.

We might think, “What if I try and nothing changes?” or “What if I lose something important in the process?”
These thoughts can keep us holding on tightly to what feels safe, even when we know it’s not helping us move forward.

In counselling, this resistance is never seen as failure — it’s an important message. It tells us where fear, pain, or self-protection may be holding us back. Exploring that resistance with curiosity and compassion can begin to unlock what’s underneath it.

Small Shifts, Lasting Change

Change doesn’t have to mean completely reinventing yourself. It often starts with small, meaningful shifts — moments of awareness, choosing to pause before reacting, or allowing yourself to feel instead of avoiding.

When you begin to understand why something feels hard to change, you create the possibility of doing it differently. Bit by bit, those small insights and actions build into deeper transformation.

Counselling offers a space to explore this process safely — at your own pace, without pressure. Together, we can look at what change truly means for you, what might be getting in the way, and how to take steps that feel both realistic and compassionate.

Moving Toward the Life You Want

The paradox of wanting change while resisting it is one of the most human experiences there is.
It doesn’t mean you’re stuck forever — it means you’re standing on the edge of growth.

With understanding, patience, and support, you can begin to create the kind of change that lasts — the kind that feels aligned with you.

🪷 At Skyla Counselling, I offer a calm, reflective space to explore what’s keeping you where you are — and what might help you take your next step forward.

👉 Learn more or book a session