Keeping Up with the Joneses: Its Impact on Self-Esteem in Today's Society

Skyla Counselling

3/27/20252 min read

black framed eyeglasses beside red leather handbag
black framed eyeglasses beside red leather handbag

Breaking Free from ‘Keeping Up with the Joneses’

Have you ever caught yourself scrolling through social media, feeling like everyone else has it together—the perfect home, the dream holidays, the designer wardrobe? It’s easy to fall into the trap of keeping up with the Joneses, the idea that we need to match the lifestyle and success of those around us to feel worthy.

But the truth is, what we see online is only a highlight reel—curated moments designed to look effortless. Behind the scenes, everyone has struggles, insecurities, and challenges we don’t see. Yet, comparison can creep in, making us question our own lives, achievements, and even our self-worth.

How Social Media Fuels the Cycle of Comparison

Social media makes it easier than ever to compare ourselves to others. A single post can make us feel like we’re falling behind—whether it’s a friend buying their first home, a colleague landing a promotion, or an influencer living a life that seems out of reach. Each like and comment can reinforce the idea that external success equals happiness.

The problem is, chasing an ideal that’s built on comparison can leave us feeling empty. No matter how much we achieve, there’s always something—or someone—setting the bar higher. And in that cycle, we can lose sight of what truly brings us joy.

The Emotional Cost of Keeping Up

Constantly measuring ourselves against others can lead to:

🔹 Feeling like we’re never good enough
🔹 Overspending to maintain an image of success
🔹 Losing touch with our own goals and values
🔹 Increased anxiety, stress, or low self-esteem

It’s exhausting. And more importantly, it distracts us from what really matters—our happiness, our relationships, and our own sense of fulfilment.

Shifting the Focus: Finding Fulfilment Beyond Comparison

Instead of chasing someone else’s version of success, what if we focused on our own?

Practice Gratitude – Take time to appreciate what you do have. Your achievements, no matter how small, are still yours.
Identify What Truly Matters – What brings you joy outside of external validation? Is it creativity, connection, adventure, or peace?
Limit Social Media Triggers – If certain accounts make you feel ‘less than,’ unfollow them. Curate a feed that uplifts, rather than drains you.
Embrace Your Own Journey – Success isn’t one-size-fits-all. It’s okay to go at your own pace, in your own way.

You Are More Than What You Own

If you’ve been caught in the cycle of comparison, you’re not alone. But you don’t have to stay stuck in it. Learning to let go of external pressures and reconnect with what truly makes you happy is a journey—one you deserve to take.

💬 If this resonates with you, and you’d like to explore these feelings in a safe and supportive space, I’m here to help. Let’s work together to build confidence that isn’t based on comparison, but on self-acceptance.

📩 Reach out when you’re ready—you are enough, exactly as you are.

#SelfWorth #ComparisonTrap #MindfulLiving #SkylaCounselling